Marko Mirceski, 2021-11-13
The internet loves raving about so-called "Nice Guys". From their misogynistic views to their unrealistic expectations of receiving sexual favors for doing the bare minimum, it can clearly be deduced that they are not the people they think they are. But what about the other side of the coin? Are the greatest critics of Nice Guys really better than the people they oh so generously drag through the manure every so often? And is every "Nice Guy" (i.e. the ones that are insanely resentful) born out of sexual frustration? In this article, I will delve into one of the more toxic parts of the internet, and clear up some biases that one might have acumulated over the years.
Clearing Out Misconceptions
The first thing to state here, is that Nice Guy does NOT equal "Nice Guy". Why? Because the former is a blessing, and the latter is a curse. Nice Guys (without quotation marks) are actual, genuine nice people, that go out of their way to show more than just basic human decency. "Nice Guys" on the other hand are extremely resentful, mostly lonely men that show some borderline Incel traits, and only want women for their own sexual gain.
Or is that so?
Basic Human Decency
The problem arises, when you start assuming that everyone who resents some people must be a bitter "Nice Guy" who just couldn't get laid. This stems from the belief that what is considered the "bare minimum" of decency has been lowered, and that no one is entitled to something as simple as a look. In almost every human society, it is customary to thank a person if they do something for us, e.g. holding open a door, regardless of a person's sex. But over the years, especially in western countries. this custom has fallen into obscurity, as people became more and more self-absorbed, feeling entitled to it while not even paying attention to the person doing said thing.
This in turn may lead to many different outcomes, with two very prominent ones. The first one would be that the person doing a certain thing continues being the decent human being they are, thus resulting in their environment exploiting them ad mortem. The second outcome encompasses the Nice person to lash out, to start resenting the parts of society that treated them "like something less than a human being". This in turn results in some very questionable world views (questionable according to mainstream society). What I want to say is, that not all Nice Guys are born out of sexual frustration, but rather a need for validation by other people. A need, that, if not satisfied, results in erratic and vengeful thinking. I'm not saying we should cave in to them. I'm just stating, that we should treat these people more humane as a preventative measure.
Born of Hatred
We create our own demons. We create the things we dread the most. What do I mean by that? By treating people differently, we create these Nice Guys and we start dreading them. In turn, we lash out at this creation of our making, thus branding us the villains in their eyes. But since we can't admit our own failure, our own guilt in creating them, we project it as hatred onto them. It is a vicious circle, which can only be broken from the outside. We cannot "cure" them, rather, they have to help themselves, and the first thing to do would be to admit that we are partly to be blamed for their creation.
This opinion would spark outrage in some internet communities that were specifically made to maliciously make fun of these "Nice Guys", marking the believer of said opinion as a Nice Guy themselves, and projecting even more hatred unto them. It is a witch hunt born out of contempt, that stems from the self-induced lie that all Nice Guys feel entitled to unwarranted sexual activity. Thus, the Strawman "Nice Guy" was born. A template, which is being applied to every person that even remotely shows signs of entitlement to some basic human decency.
People should stop holding onto this modern belief that no one is entitled to humanity. Instead, we all should embrace a more traditionalist point of view, where we all treat each other as human beings, and thank the kind stranger holding the door open for us.